01 Mar

My problem is that whenever I start to write something, it starts getting really long and then I get tired of writing and want to quit, but then I’m frustrated with what actually made it onto the blog.

Random things that I’m going to not write very much about:

-Last night, my best friend from college called me to let me know that he’s officially out of full-time ministry and that he’s investigating new career paths. We talked some about how we went to Bible college with a pretty tight-knit group of 4 guys who all received degrees in music ministry. All are talented, intelligent, personable, faithful and would profoundly bless ANY church they worked for. And yet, not a single one of them is now working in full time music ministry or any other kind of ministry. My friend and I discussed the possibility that there’s something horribly wrong with the whole concept of vocational ministry; particularly music ministry. We discussed the fact working in full-time music ministry caused a moral dilemma that in order to do it as required would entail living dishonestly and actually “selling out.”

The interesting thing is that I know many people in full-time music ministry. They seem sincere and passionate in their vocation and ministry, but most also seem pretty shallow in the way they live their life.

From one perspective, I’m pretty proud that the 4 guys I graduated with are no longer in ministry because they’re actually too honest to be able to live with the tensions that vocational music ministry requires. Ok, I’ve broke my rule and written too much on this.

-This morning, while driving to my sub job, I started thinking about what it would be like if my dad were alive and how he would interact with Ivy and how much I would love to see that. It’s been 13 years now, and sometimes thinking about how much of my life I am unable to share with my dad hurts so much. I had to turn up the music and start thinking about something else so that the tears in my eyes wouldn’t start flowing and make it hard to see.

-I feel like I’m gearing up for job hunting. In the next few months, many school districts will be getting their contracts signed for next year and will start getting ideas for where they’re going to need positions. I hate it. I don’t want to go out and find a job, I just want somebody to give me one. I often think that one of the reasons I didn’t accomplish more as a musician was because I just can’t stomach self-promotion enough. And here I am trying to sell myself as a teacher. The fact is that last summer, I suspected that I could/would be a good teacher. Now, after subbing so much since the beginning of the year, (and I truly believe and I think most teachers agree, that subbing is WAY harder than teaching) I’m convinced that I would be one of the better teachers. If somebody would just give me a freaking job…

-I’m reading the Green Mile again. I’ve needed something to read while I’m baby-sit…I mean subbing. I still think that Stephen King is a great novelist.


Posted by on March 1, 2007 in Uncategorized


5 responses to “blogging

  1. Anonymous

    March 1, 2007 at 1:21 pm

    I totally want to discuss the whole full time music ministry idea… I am just not following…

    I’m sorry all over again about your Dad. 😦

    I KNOW you would be a wonderful teacher… I will start praying for your next teaching “gig.” 🙂

    ~Missie Ray G

  2. Ryan

    March 2, 2007 at 2:58 am


  3. shack

    March 2, 2007 at 4:47 am

    Ok, Ryan should know that I wasn’t referring to him. Believe me that the people I have in mind will probably not ever be reading this blog.

    Sorry, Ryan. Those comments were totally not about you. I hope you don’t take offense.


  4. Ryan

    March 2, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    I appreciate that Shack. I must confess that I was doing some major introspective searching. I appreciate you putting my mind at ease.

    I do agree that it is very difficult at times to serve in this capacity of worship ministry. Especially if you do not have a leader that has a passion for worship but instead has a passion for big crowds.

    I have spent a great deal of time in the last couple of years with worship leaders from other churches. One dramatic thing I’ve learned from them is that the recognize that their role is to support there Sr. Pastor.

    I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that. If I worked for IBM my job would be to do what they want me to do. I don’t have the right to demand they listen to how I want things done. Sometimes I have been guilty of demanding that I be heard. In the last 12-18 months I’ve acknowledge that my role is to support the greater vision instead of demand they take my “feelings” and “concerns” into consideration. This has made for a dramatic change in my ministry.

    Just some thoughts,

  5. The Languisher

    March 3, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    I just wanted to say that I am enjoying this post and all the comments very much.


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