grrr….

I shouldn’t even think about posting when I’m in this frame of mind.  1) I have too many things swirling in my head to even THINK, let alone compose coherent thought.  2) I’m too angry and irritated because of different parts of the swirling eddy of my thoughts.

#1: Snide comments about Michael Jackson.

First off, I’m not really a fan.  I never owned Thriller, and honestly I get annoyed everytime the video is named greatest video of all time.  Mostly just because I’m sick of it.  The man could sing.  The man could dance.  He was an exceptional entertainer.  He brought a lot of music into the world, and I think he did a lot of good in the world.

Was he a child molestor?  He was acquitted of all charges.   I don’t know.  I do know that there are some people who got lots of money and publicity just for raising the question.   Was he jacked up? duh.  Was he creepy and strange? obviously.   He also lived his ENTIRE life outside any kind of range of normalcy and most, if not all of that circumstance was beyond his choosing or control.   How could you expect him to not be at least creepy and strange?  Does that make him a monster?  Instead of your conviction that he’s a child molestor (since, obviously you have inside info that the jury didn’t), or comments about his misguided beliefs (Jehovah’s Witness and or Islam) and condemnation and declaration of where he must be right now (as if it were your place to decide), maybe you should take a sec to repent of your own self-righteousnees and judgement and the putrid, disgusting, ugly glee at the demise of a severely broken human being who is just as much a child of God/Allah/Jehovah as you are.

#2:  “Gayby Boom: Children of Gay couples speak out” (click title to follow link)

Just found this article.  Got me all fired up about Arkansas’s prohibition of unmarried cohabitating couples from adopting or caring for foster children.  I know it was passed like 9 months ago, but it still pisses me off.   Wouldn’t it be best if orphans/foster children were raised by heterosexual, married couples? Well, maybe.  I know a lot of hetero/married couples that suck at being married and suck at raising kids.  It’s not difficult to imagine children would be better off with a loving homosexual couple.  And it’s just plain stupid to suggest children would be better off in an orphanage than with a loving family whatever the gender/makeup/orientation.

God, save us from our pride.  Save us from our ugly self-righteousness.  Teach us to love.  And for those who have it all figured out (except the loving part) at least shut them up so they stop representing you in such a horrific way.

impending wipe

I’d been proud of the fact that my computer booted quickly.  Pride cometh before…you know…

All the sudden it was being wonky.  When it would boot, it wouldn’t let me do anything with the start menu but would let me start lots of programs that I had shortcuts on the desktop, except chrome.  It wouldn’t even let me ctl-alt-delete to get the task manager going.  It would let me run my scan and after about 15 minutes, it would it would finally finish booting.  At first, I thought I’d picked up a virus/worm etc. that was jacking my groove.  I’d been trying every trick I could figure to try to get it back to normal.  No dice.  I finally broke down and called my buddy, Joe, to see if he could fix it.  I’m a hack.  He’s a real computer guy.

After messing with it for awhile, Joe confirmed my suspician that it’s not really a virus issue.  He said that for some reason (possibly a virus, although I’d effectively blocked it), for some reason explorer was hanging up.  He even showed me how I could get the task manager up before everything started up, kill explorer and let it restart.  The problem is that he could mess with it for 4-8 hours and not be able to figure out what was causing the problem.  However, I could just wipe the machine and re-install windows and everything in just a couple of hours.

I have not doubt that the actual installation process might only take a couple of hours.  Sorting, deleting, filing, backing up, important (or maybe not even real important; I am a packrat in the cyberworld as well as real life) files in order to be ready to wipe and re-install windows fresh has taken me a couple of days.

So, I’m ready.  I’ve got, or think I’ve got everything on external drives or backed up to dvd.  Why I lack faith in external drives that I’ve not had any problems with when I’ve let important files sit on the system drive without proper backup for months, I don’t know.  It’s still scary.

The upside is that I hope to partition the ginormous system drive into two drives.  From here on, I’ll just save files to one partition that’s separate from the system.  That way, if I have to do this again, I won’t have to go through this winnowing process.

I know that I should have everything.  It’s just the psychosis of a pack rat.  ”What if I need this?  What if I forgot to back something up that I’m going to need?”  gag.

Commencing operation wipe. See you on the flipside.

sum, sum, summertime!

-On the Thursday before school got out, got this crazy idea to drive to Louisville, KY to see friends Brian, Debra and Sadie.  Brian said that if we made it there, he’d have Coldplay-with-PeteYorn-opening tickets waiting for us.  It’s totally outside my nature to decide to decide to do this, but we did it.

-Left on Tuesday and drove to Saint Louis to spend the night with my sister.  Ivy travels better than I do.  She even did very well in the potty power department.  Hung out with sister Wednesday morning then ventured on to Louisville Wednesday night.  Had fun being lazy and hanging with friends that we’ve not been with for two years.

-Thursday night: left Ivy with Debra and Sadie (she did great and had a blast) while Holly, Brian, Brian’s friend, and I made our way outside Cincinnati.   It was a gorgeous night.  Pete Yorn was good, but they didn’t have the big screens on yet and it was difficult to see from where we were.  I’ll probably get his new record coming out soon, anyway.

-Coldplay:  Words fail.  Awesome?  Incredible?  Moving?  The word that continues to come closest that I can come up with is transcendent.  Keep in mind, I am the WORST concert audience member.  I typically just like to watch and listen and I’m old and grouchy enough to mostly just be annoyed at all the people around me either talking, singing, dancing, freaking out too much who make it difficult for me to observe.  This was not the case on this night.  I jumped.  I clapped.  I danced.  I sang.  I yelled.  I cried.  I am so glad that we drove all the way to Louisville, KY.  It was the best church I’ve had in a long time.  Thanks, Bribrow.

1 Day Left!!!

Two kinds of students:  1) The kind that you just tell them they really don’t need to come to school tomorrow.  2) You hold up a big packet of worksheets and tell them that if they do show up tomorrow, that’s what’s in store for them…  We’ll see.  It’s amazing to me that the kids that have missed so much all year and it’s hard to keep them up to speed because they’re never there are suddenly concerned with their attendance when we’re not doing anything.

All I have left is to pack up my room.  I feel like I’ve not gotten very far, but I think I’ll have enough time.  I think I’ve got all my paperwork stuff ready to turn in.

On Tuesday, we’re heading to Saint Louis and then to Louisville, KY on Wednesday.  Will be home on Sunday afternoon.  I just decided for sure today.  How’s that for spontaneous?

Our friends, Brian and Debra and Sadie have been trying to lure us to come see them for awhile.  We’ve never even got to meet Sadie and I think Ivy was just a few months when they moved.  I’m all for visiting friends, I’m just NOT for big road trips.  Dangling Coldplay/Pete Yord tickets in front of me did the trick.

By the way: Ben Folds freaking rocks!

and summer break rocks, too!

Final personal day

I enjoyed my personal day last monday so much, I figured I might as well schedule my final personal day of the year for the only Monday I have left.  (Of course, that’s not counting the last day of school, but I don’t think I could do that.)

Unfortunately, I started getting the sneaky suspician that a sinus infection was coming on Thursday night and knew it to be true on Friday.  I went to the Dr. on Saturday and got an antibiotic, but it seems slow in getting me back to full power.  So, it was a beautiful day on Monday, but I don’t feel like I got to enjoy it very much.

This week is the week of getting in days, although we’re doing anything but school.  Today we had an assembly.  Tomorrow: Naturals game.  Thursday: Play day with Awards ceremony.  Friday: Talent Show.  I’m not complaining.  I just don’t know what we’re going to do all week next week.

And then…

Not sure.  I need to be productive.   somehow.  With something.

That’s all I know.

Personal Day

So mostly, I just wanted to get another post on here so that the title of the last post wasn’t the first thing…scary.  About that:  Jeff was just saying some things on Sunday that were making me think I need to try to chillout about my friend.  Not only does sin separate us, most of the time it is a symptom of our deception.  I said what I needed to say, I shouldn’t be so angry with him for still being deceived.

Monday I took a personal day. My mom and sis were here.  We didn’t really do much, but just not having to go to school on Monday made Sunday night SO MUCH nicer.

I’ve got one personal day left.  I’m thinking that I might use it next monday if I can get away with it.  Which means I only have one monday left: June 1st!

sin

The title of this blog seemed a little too blunt.  I considered “iniquity” but that didn’t really get it either.

Some time ago, I was visiting with my wise friend, Rustin.  He had just been to visit an old friend of his who had been divorced since their previous contact.  I really don’t remember direct quotations, but I remember Rustin saying something to the effect of being amazed at how sin always separates us.

If you believe the bible, you know that sin is what separates us from God.  Rustin’s observation has grown into a profound idea to me over the years that proves itself to be true over and over again.  How do you recognize sin?

Pride causes sons and daughters, brothers and sister, mothers and fathers to shut loved ones out of their lives.  Greed causes us to be uncaring and ruthless in our pursuit of stuff.  Lust perverts our idea of love and care and sex and causes us not to treasure the loved one we are joined to or prohibits healthy, whole relationships from developing.

I have a friend who may read this blog.  I really don’t know.  But, I also said all this to his face, so if he chooses to be mad because I wrote it on the blog, I’m sorry. He made it clear that what I thought and said had not bearing on what he plans or what he thinks.  I’m not writing to him.  I’m writing to get it out of my head.

He’s screwing up his life.  He disagreed.  But, his behavior or determination not to change his behavior for anybody else is driving everyone who cares about him away from him including his wife.  How is that not screwing up your life?  How is that not sin?  I know that I don’t want to be around him.  I don’t want to talk about all his grand plans that may or may not come to fruition, but will most definitely cause him to lose the things that seem the most important.

Is money most important?  Is prestige?  Is being right? Is getting your own way the most important thing? Is pride the most important?

My dad was far from perfect.  Even now, 15+ years since he died, I can get mad at him for not telling me more of his thoughts and ideas.  I wish I knew more of who he was.  And yet, even without talking much, somehow he instilled in me strong convictions about what it means to keep your commitments and meet your obligations  and take responsibility for your family and the ones you love.  Whether the grounding of this idea is in scripture or not:  This is moral.  This is right.  The lack of understanding of this is part of what’s wrong with our society.

Anything that you might allow in your life to impede or separate those relationships is wrong.  immoral.  sin.

And deflecting all responsibility off yourself and onto other people is 7th grader behavior.  Grow up already.

The Hunger Games

I just finished reading this book this evening.  It’s a Young Adult (YA) novel that I’d been hearing about for awhile.  I can fairly say I devoured it.

It seems like there are way cooler books being published for YA than when I was that age.  I’m sure that it has to do with the Harry Potter craze and now Twilight insanity.  And a lot of it looks like I would be way into it:  Fantasy, Scifi, secret agents, etc.

The thing is: I figure most of it is crap.  How can it not be?  Harry Potter was so huge and now there is just SO MANY books…  I can’t believe much if any of it will be remembered in 20-30 years.    It is so hard to find something like Harry Potter, or Ender’s Game or the Outsiders, Childhood’s End, Of Mice and Men, The Giver(notice I didn’t mention Twilight…) that school aged kids will be falling in love with generation after generation.

The Hunger Games was good.  I am mostly impressed.  Fairly well drawn, likeable characters without being so in depth as to get boring.  Lot’s of action, but again: not enough to be boring.  Interesting premise that leaves me wanting to know more about the universe in which it’s set, but leaves out enough detail that middle school students could probably be easily bogged down with.  So, like I said: I read it fast. I was into it and entertained.

And then it went south.

I kind of saw it coming.  The main protagonist is a female.  In the midst of all the good stuff, what has to be injected?  Of course: a love story.  Oh, and it has to be a conflicted triangle as well.  Oh and this book is actually just a setup for the sequal that is to come where the REAL conflicted love triangle can commence.  GROSS!  So, without giving anything away, about the last chapter combined with the looming sequal (coming September 1st…That’s right: We’ll crank out a new one every year for ya!  Just keep buying…)  very nearly ruined the whole thing for me.  I’ll let you know if I get over it or not.

How about, on the back cover you just write something like this: “Whatever good writing and hard work went into this novel, be rest assured, dear consumer, we know there are not enough girls out there reading the Twilight series or even Harry Potter.  We’re coming after you girls! We know you’ve got money to spend and fanaticism to be unleashed!  We have our own quality assurance department to make sure that every book we put out will appeal to simplest of urges and desires.  We know you’ll enjoy this book because it has been manufactured to make sure that you do.  And it’s designed to make sure you keep coming back for more!  We’ve even created our own new genre: Novel Crack!   It get’s you hooked, but doesn’t nourish and only makes you want some more.  Read it now!  Because nobody will care about it later!”

Where’s my copy of Ender’s Game…?

I’m blogging about this so maybe I can stop thinking about it…

So, we took the girl and the maniac dog for a walk with the girl’s wagon.  (It was really fun because I tied rhubarb’s leash to the wagon.  If I would have had another leash to keep Rhubarb from taking off with my daughter, I would have left it.  Ivy thought it was hysterical.)

We just walked on on our street and ended up at the elderly couple’s house at the end of our street who have a nice big, inviting porch.  It’s funny how everybody hunkers down for the winter and then get caught up at their porch in the spring…

So, Rhubarb’s on a leash, they have a dog, another kid from next door comes over with his little dog on a leash, there are lots of adults and lots of kids.  Rhubarb is insane, especially when there are other people or dogs around (and here are both…)  She’s got a big bark and when I’m not physically holding her down, she’s going nuts.  I go back and forth between trying to keep her calm and then just letting her play on the leash with the other dogs.

Next thing I know, a lady pulls up in her white mini-van and gets out.  She’s probably in her 40’s or 50’s.  Here are snippets of what I remember that she said:

“I’m from the next street over.  I’ve been driving around the neighborhood for awhile trying to figure out what’s going on with the terrible barking going on.”

me: “oh there’s no problem, the dogs are just playing.”

her: “well, I work all day and when I come home I really need to relax and that dog’s bark is just so loud…”

me: “oh.  Well, we’re from down the street and we’ll be heading home soon.”

her: “I just want you to know that I’m not trying to be an ugly person or anything.  I have had dogs and I love dogs.  It’s just that bark is terrible.”

me: “Well…” (internal voice:  If you’re not trying to be an ugly person, you must just be a natural…”

her: “you know I’m a census taker and I deal with people with dogs and you can get them to stop barking.”

me: “Oh believe me.  I tell her to stop all the time.  She just get’s riled up around other people.  If you knew a trick to make her stop, that’d be great…”

her: “oh, I’ve got something here in the car.  Let me get it and show you.”  (she proceeds to go get a little water bottle.  Much like the water bottle we use to try to deter Rhubarb all the time.  It’s just that usually, it makes Rhubarb bark more…)

So, this just proceeded with her trying to tell me how to train the dog.  Nothing I don’t know and nothing I haven’t tried.  And then proceeds to tell me that I “can’t ever give in.” because “you’re the master. You just need to say no.  Otherwise, you know, they become spoiled like children…”

I stayed nice and smiled and tried to listen and tell let her know that I’ve owned a dog and I have some experience and she’s not impressing me with her know-how or expertise we’re going to be going back down the street and she’ll probably never hear my dog again.  Until my beautiful, awesome daughter came up to me and said, “I need to go home now.”

But, since this is my blog, I can say it now:

WHAT A BITCH!!  She had been driving around the neighborhood from the next street over!  There are at least a dozen dogs residing within a 6 house radius of where I was standing with Rhubarb.

I think that I am actually overly conscious and mindful of other people.  I think this is a quickly dying characteristic in our society. I’m careful about playing my music too loud outside.  I get irked when others play music loud in the neighborhood after a certain hour.  I had a hold of Rhubarb’s leash THE WHOLE TIME and holding her close to me so that she wouldn’t jump on or annoy anybody or crush the little dogs or kids that were around.  GET A FREAKING LIFE, LADY!

So, as we were leaving, we decided with our elderly friends (who’s house we were visiting) that we’re going to have a block party and I’ll bring my PA and we’ll play music really loud and get all the dogs together for a real rip-snortin good time… I’ll keep you posted.

book suggestions

So, I’m teaching 8th grade reading next year.  I just found out that I have about $700 to buy books for my classroom.  The only problem is that I’m supposed to spend it by FRIDAY!

I want to buy some class sets of books that we all read together and then Lit Circles that small groups will read together.

I remember that we read The Old Man and the Sea in 7th grade and Animal House in the 8th grade…  Obviously, I need some help.

Any life-changing book possibilities?  Let me know ASAP.  Can anybody remember what novels you read anywhere from 7th-9th grade?